i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
