have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
