Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
