So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
