we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
