I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
third nipple confirmed
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize