Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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