Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
accomplished twins. life is a go
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
