don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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