do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
