Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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