it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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