Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
