Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
