Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
