i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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