she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize