I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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