I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
