Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
