pedialite and red bull = repair kit
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
