Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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