I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I forget how to act sober
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