the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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