Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she peed on how many people?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
