thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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