filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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