You can't motorboat a personality
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
