Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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