I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
