i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
