THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
