SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
