I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
