My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
