North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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