Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
