People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
