I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
