Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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