I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
