she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
