You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Operation Purity has been aborted
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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