You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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