Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
