did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
