So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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