what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
