do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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