dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
