walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
