Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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