Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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