I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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