He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
