I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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