sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
